If you grew up in the 90s like me then may remember the Green Day hit song, "Nice Guys Finish Last." Actually, let's have a listen:
Ah, 90s punk-pop.
It makes sense why this saying exists. Extroverts are in your face, and many times, very convincing. By the time an introvert gets a word in, it may be too late at that moment to "win." At that moment.
The problem though is that the extrovert doesn't always think things through and they may not notice their mannerisms, subtle things they say or do, and many times they aren't thinking about how what they are saying in the moment will affect things in the future.
Therefore, I argue that yes, in one conversation, in one moment, perhaps your extrovert friend may "win" during an attempt to convince someone of something. However, in the long run, an introvert’s kindness, critical thinking, and follow up could win the game versus just one play.
There are always exceptions, but many introverts I meet are really nice. They may not seem like it from afar because they aren’t talking to you right away. But, once you get to know an introvert, they can be very caring and thoughtful. Maybe they are more in tune with human feelings and emotions. I don’t know the science behind it.
An introvert will truly listen and empathize if they’ve experienced similar things. They will be polite, hold the door for you, and simply care.
Not only will introverts listen, but they will listen deeply. They may seem like they aren’t listening when they don’t respond right away. But, this is because they are critically thinking about what you’re saying. They are thinking about the perfect response.
While the extrovert continues on about surface topics, the introvert takes it all in. Reads expressions. And just as the extrovert thinks they’ve won, the introvert speaks and makes an amazing point. That point sticks with the person being persuaded.
This goes with the caring and kindness of introverts; they also tend to follow up. And if you’re an introvert who does no follow up; start. Because this is the final blow to the extrovert. This wins the game.
Since the introvert has truly listened they pick up on various things going on in the person’s life. Then, a day or two later; or, a week later, the introvert follows up. “Hey, did your interview go well?” A simple follow up cia email, text, or if you run into the person again, shows that you care. It often impresses the other person.